Building Relationship

Life means problems. And all problems have solutions. Life means challenges. And all challenges can become opportunities.

The problem of a monk is different from the problem of a householder. The relationships of a monk are different from the relationships of a householder. The happiness of a monk out of his relationships is different from the happiness of a householder out of his relationships.

There is a huge difference in the type of relationships. The relationship between two friends is different from the relationship between a husband and a wife. The relationship between two live-in partners is different from the relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

The whole life is a web of relationships.

Since the relationships are different the problems are also different. Since the problems are different the solutions also have to be different. You cannot have one single solution to all the problems of life. You cannot have one single solution to all the problems arising out of many relationships.

True happiness is individual. True happiness is independent of the other. But there can be happiness and sadness out of a relationship. A lot depends on the individuals. The root cause of all problems is dependency. This dependency creates problems of dominance, control, manipulation and power tactics of one over the other. This is the root cause of all problems in all relationships. All relationships eventually end in either a win-lose or a lose-win situation. True happiness out of a relationship is possible only when it is win-win.

Two individuals are different in their bodies. No two individuals can be same. This is just impossible. This goes against the very definition of being an individual. An Individual means the one who is undivided. All individuals are unique. But they all have a common centre. Since all individuals are unique they need to find a common chord that gives them harmony in togetherness. Oneness and togetherness are the greatest possibilities.

Misunderstanding is the main problem in breaking up of relationship. Life is all about connection. Our mental, emotional, physical selves establish connection with nature, a person or things. But we don't know how to relate with them. So we don’t actually build relationship. But if we build our relationship based on our consciousness and awareness we can have viable relationship. Usually our relationship is established with selfish motive i.e. we want more comfort. So for building a viable relationship that we have to expand our own self. Along with this we have to lose our ego and willing to be flexible. What really matter in relationship is patience and faith. If we can look within and expand our inner self we can build true relationship with all around us.

You and Me are different only in our bodies. But your centre and my centre are the same. And our individual centres are not possible unless there is a third common centre. My centre, your centre and the centre of existence are the same. Therefore, my centre, the centre of my beloved and the centre of God are all same. The moment we understand this there is a miracle. This understanding gives rise to a new relationship called the 'interdependence'.

We all are inter-dependent. There is nothing in the whole existence that is dependent and independent. You can say that only God is independent. You are 100% correct in saying this. But a God who is independent of you and me has no meaning. The independent God is irrelevant. The independent God cannot give any meaning to our life. To derive meaning out of life we have to strike an understanding of interdependence. This interdependence means creating love, compassion and understanding together. There is no love in the existence. We have to create that love in our hearts. Now this is a big CHALLENGE!

Just think of the whole digital world. All digital devices are connected to each other. Each device has its own software as an operating system. Just think that the hardware is like our body. The software is like our soul. No two devices can talk to each other unless they are connected through a big computer. This big computer is called the server. The server is a big computer. This big computer also has its own hardware and software. The hardware is connected through the software. This is how two devices can talk to each other. This is how all the digital devices in the digital world are interconnected. The common thread that is passing through all of them is the internet. The browser on your hardware becomes a bridge to connect to other devices. The internet is a common centre of all the digital devices. Without this common centre the devices cannot be connected to each other. Just think that this common centre is like the centre of God.

Therefore, all our centres are passing through the centre of God (the common centre). God’s centre is the centre of everything in the whole existence. It has been said that God is like an infinite circle that has a centre but no circumference. I think Swami Vivekananda has said this. Every point on the body of God is a centre. In an infinite existence every point becomes a centre. We have to at least believe that there is a common centre to all of us.

Just see the miracle. The moment there is no Wi-Fi we are all disconnected from the internet. And we all feel at a loss. The internet has become like our breath. The moment it is not there we feel breathless. The same is true with our connection with God. The moment the Divine Wi-Fi has gone we get disconnected from God. In order to be happy we have to be in constant connection with the Divine. This gives us life and this gives us happiness. The ultimate realization of Pranayama is that when you breathe the God also breathes. When you breathe in, God breathes out, and when you breathe out, God breathes in. This is the ultimate realization of Pranayama.

Scientists and computer engineers have succeeded in connecting and tying together all the digital devices in the world. This is how they have created a single World Wide Web. This has become possible to them because they have figured out the science and technology that connects these digital devices. The whole World Wide Web has become a digital nervous system of the entire world. But this is an outer science and an outer technology.

To connect the human beings and to tie the human beings with a common thread is a big challenge. And this cannot be possible without knowing a different science. The name of that different science is an inner science. The name of that technology is an inner technology. The name of that engineering is an inner engineering. IT to me means an Inner Technology, Inner Transformation and Inner Tranquillity.

Now let us look into the word ‘Relationship’. It is a noun and to me it is a dead word. To think of being connected is beautiful. To feel of being connected is divine. This makes the relationship alive. Relationship is not a dead end but a continuous and unending love affair.

Just look into the word 'Relationship'. Let us do a small workshop. Let us split this word into two: Relation and Ship. The word relation indicates a connection between two and more and people. Requirement of two people is a basic necessity to form a relationship. Just think that these two people are like the two banks of a river. Now let us come to the second word 'Ship'. Just think that it is like a ship that travels from one bank of the river to the other bank of the river. Love, compassion and understanding are like this ship that connects these two banks of the river together. The river that is flowing between the banks is like a river of life. The river of life is like the God. The river of life is not at all concerned with neither the two banks of the river nor with the ship that is connecting the two banks of the river. The river of life is continuously moving and flowing without any interruption. This is how the relationship between two and more individuals is possible.

Therefore, when it comes to human relationships and understanding human relationships just think of the above two examples.

It is said that when you take one step towards God, the God takes two steps towards you. This is the miracle. This is the mystery. Please also understand the science and technology involved in this relationship. The first step has to be from you. The first step is never from God. This is how a man walks to a woman and says, “I love you”. Love becomes a bridge between me and you. Love becomes a bridge between You and Me. Love becomes a bridge between you and God. Love becomes a bridge between we all. This is that Divine Wi-Fi that connects us all and also connects us with the Divine.

There are three centres. One centre is mine. The other centre is that of my beloved. The third centre is the centre of God. I and my beloved are like two concurrent circles. You and I are like two concurrent circles. These two circles are concurrent to each other and are also concurrent to the circle of God. They all have a common centre. All these circles are connected through this common centre. This centre is our self. This individual centre is called Jivatma. And the centre of God is called the Paramatma. The experience of this self is called enlightenment. This is a state of Spiritual Singularity. In this state there is nothing called a plurality but only a singularity. In this state all divisions disappear. In this state all duality disappears. Now there is no question of any conflict. In this state all chaos transforms into a cosmos. In this state all conflict transforms into a celebration. The whole cosmos is the dance of God. The whole cosmos is the dance of the opposites. When you embrace the opposite you will be blissful.

To maintain healthy relationship we must get rid of our egos.............most of the times I heard from people that to maintain relationship we must compromise for each other.......but if the love exist compromise no longer remains compromise but it emerges as love.