Positive Thoughts..Like
Champagne, Make Your Life Sparkle
Stuff
happens. What happens is neither good nor bad. It merely is. But we, in our
attempt to understand everything, stick labels on things. We call things big or
small, hot or cold, smooth or rough. These descriptive words can help, but
where we go astray is when we label things as `good' or `bad.' These two words
(and other negative and positive words) do not describe reality; they merely
describe how we FEEL at the moment.
For
instance, as I write this, it is raining and the sky is grey. Suppose a friend
calls from another city and asks me what the weather is like. If I were to
answer, "The weather is lousy," that does not describe what is
happening outside (the weather), but what is happening inside (my feelings). We
cannot master life until we master how we describe it, for the words we use
determine how we feel. Does it make sense to describe a rainy day as `lousy'?
Why would I want to feel bad?
Suppose
I had answered my friend's question differently. If I had stuck to the facts
and said, "It is raining and the sky is grey," then I would have been
detached from the events (rain and grey sky) and free to go on enjoying life.
The way we see things is not based on reality but, on a choice we make. Why not
choose to see things pragmatically. That is, pick a viewpoint that works for
you, empowers you. Why spend time choosing a viewpoint that works against you
and prevents you from getting the most out of life?
Suppose
you lived at the foot of a mountain. Would you see the mountain as a glorious
opportunity for adventure by conquering it and yourself? Or would you see it as
requiring too much effort to scale and just an inconvenient barrier? "An
inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an
inconvenience rightly considered."
A
mountain is whatever we say it is, inconvenience or adventure. So it is with
life. The choice of how we look at it is a switch that fills our lives with
light or darkness. Why is it that many people still don't realize that it is
THEIR FINGER that is on the switch? I choose to see life as a magnificent
adventure, not a struggle that I have to put up with. As a result, I have known
and continue to experience many adventures.
Today,
many of us work with computers. Although I love computers, every now and then
something goes wrong, such as misplacing a file. But when something goes amiss,
it is not because the computer doesn't like me or life is unfair, but because I
did something wrong. I try to learn from my mistake and avoid making similar
errors again. I'm sure you behave in the same way.
Yet,
when it comes to managing the greatest computer of all (our brain and mind),
many act differently. When they get bad results, rather than trying to learn
from what they did incorrectly, they search for scapegoats. Instead of seeking solutions
they search for excuses.
Many
computer users are familiar with the term GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out), which
simply means that the results we get are only as good as the input. The same is
true for the computer that controls my life (my brain and mind). If I put
garbage in my mind (negative thoughts), the output will be garbage (an unhappy
life).
It
is essential that we clearly understand the relationship between our thoughts
and the life we experience. If I insist on dwelling on negative thoughts, I
will feel negative, which will lead to negative behaviour, which in turn will
bring about negative results. Of course, when I choose to focus on the
positive, the opposite happens. In a word, what I choose to think about acts as
a switch that either opens the blinds, flooding my life with light, or closes
the blinds, shutting out the light.
Since
we have a choice, doesn't it make sense to look at life as an exciting
adventure? Many have already done so, and here are two examples:
1.
"Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if
you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are
setting out into an unknown country, to meet many a joy, to find many a
comrade, to win and lose many a battle."
2.
"What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all,
the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to
be able to enjoy life. That is what life means and what life is for."
Before
we can make the right choices, we have to be aware of our choices.
"All
men and women are born, live, suffer and die; what distinguishes us one from
another is our dreams, whether they are dreams about worldly or unworldly
things and what we do to make them come about... We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the
country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do
not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our
death. But within this realm of choicelessness, WE DO CHOOSE HOW WE LIVE."
Thus
far I have been emphasizing the power of choice for good reason, but in all
fairness, not everyone is equally free to make the right choices. You and I
will choose to cross the street when the light is green and choose to wait when
the light is red. But what if you are blind? Well, depressed people are blind.
They cannot see the joy, wonder, and glory that surround them. Not because they
are lazy or stupid, but because they suffer from a mental disorder. So, if you
know some very negative people, try not to judge them harshly and wish them
well.
Adventure
is the champagne of life. Like champagne, make your life sparkle. But what of
those who have not yet discovered that life is an adventure? What can they do
to bring themselves closer to this empowering point of view? Developing the
curiosity, courage, and commitment of a child would help.
Children
are filled with insatiable curiosity. Each step they take is a step into the
unknown. What will they discover next? What will they encounter around the
corner? They lead the life of an adventurer and explorer. They don't understand
the meaning of `boring.' You were once that child and you have the right to
reclaim that inquisitive spirit.
It's
not hard to do so. Start by shifting your attention away from that empty, banal
chatter that clutters your mind and focus on what is happening around you now.
What do you hear? Can you tune in on something enchanting or fascinating? Be
curious. Search for it. Find it.
Do
the same with your other senses. For instance, how many of the surrounding
odours, aromas, or fragrances can you identify? How many of them were you
ignoring or overlooking? Let's try the other senses. What about touch? Can you
feel the warmth or coolness of your environment? Where do you feel it most?
How
about taste? Lick your lips. How do they taste? Why do they taste that way? Is
it because of something you ate or drank or because of the environment (the
rain or a sea breeze)? Look around you. What do you see that is interesting or
different? These exercises help to draw us out of the fantasy world of our
imagination and replant us in reality. How can we enjoy life if we are unaware
of its presence?
Also,
be curious about your own mind. Explore it. Rather than ignoring the chatter of
your mind, observe it. What are you usually thinking about? Are your thoughts
helpful or harmful? If harmful, what thoughts should you replace them with?
Because
every step a child takes is a step into the unknown, it takes great courage to
continue on its journey of discovery. Courage is the second trait of a child
that we need to reclaim. For without it, our journey may come to an abrupt
halt.
"When
you walk to the edge of all the light you have and you take the first step into
the darkness of the unknown. You must believe that one of two things will
happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be
taught to fly."
Here
are two more lessons about courage:
"Life
shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
"Only
those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can
go."
As
young children explore their world, they may slip, stumble, or stagger, but if
they fall, they simply pick themselves up and go on again. This is the third
characteristic of children that we need to reclaim, commitment. Those who are
committed, never give up. Their mind-set doesn't allow it. To them, there is no
such thing as failure, only lessons to be learned. Of course, we are free to
ignore our lessons and drop out of life's school, but at what price?
"It
takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before... to
test your limits... to break through barriers.
"And
the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more
painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Within
you is a bud waiting to blossom. It is a little child with curiosity, courage,
and commitment, that is eager to participate in the adventure we call life. Are
you willing to embrace that child, take it by the hand, and join it on its
remarkable journey?
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