An Equal Half

The Hindu woman as life partner has a fourfold character: she is ardhangini अर्धांगनी, one half of the her husband, metaphorically speaking; sahadharmini सहधर्मी, an associate in the fulfilment of human and divine goals; sahakarmini सह्कामिनी, a part to all her husband’s action and sahayogini सहयोगिनी, a veritable co-operator in all his ventures. Husband and wife together are called dampati दम्पती, joint owners of the household, sharing work in terms of their biological, psychological and individual dharma. The former provides the seed bija बीज and the latter the field ksetra क्षेत्र for its fructification, so that humans could be perpetuating in the cosmic process of evolution. Both have the joint responsibility of helping their children grow in all respects, but the contribution of the wife is always immense.

As life partner the Hindu woman has equal right to participate in religious right to participate in religious rites and ceremonies; in fact, certain sacrifices like the Sita harvest sacrifice, the Rudrayaga for suitable sons-in-law or the Rudrabali रुद्राबाली sacrifice for material prosperity are performed by women alone. Hindu lawgivers like Gobhila गोभीला and Asvalayana अश्वाल्याना ordain that no ritual or sacrifice can be complete (sampurna संपूर्ण) without the presence of the wife. Even Rama had to order for Sita’s statue in gold to make up for her absence during this asvamedha अश्वमेध sacrifice. In the Ramayana रामायण, Rama’s mother Kausalya कौशल्या offers oblations to the fire god Agni अग्नि and Tara तारा performs the Svastyayana स्वस्त्याना ritual for the success of her husband Bali बाली against Sugriva सुग्रीवा.

Women of those days were quite learned in the Vedic lore. Draupadi द्रोपदी was a brahmavadini ब्रह्मवादिनी and Tara तारा an adept at reciting mystic syllables. Oghavati ओघावती, Arundhati अरुंधती and Sulabha सुलभा possessed a thorough knowledge of the Vedas and imparted religious knowledge even to Rishis ऋषी. The spiritual attainments of Savitri सावित्री and Anusuya अनसुईया have become legendary. In the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad one meets women of wisdom such as Maitreyi मैत्री and Gargi गार्गी. The former abandoned wealth for wisdom and the latter entered into a debate with sage Yajnavalkya याज्ञवल्क at the court of King Janaka. Much later, Bharati, the wife of Mandana Misra, carried forward the tradition by acting as judge in the philosophic debate between her husband and Shankaracharya शंक्राचार्या. When she found her husband losing the debate, she emphatically told Shankaracharya शंक्राचार्या that his victory would be complete only if he could defeat her, since she constituted her husband’s better half.

Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rites yield rewards,. ‘Offspring, (due performance of) religious rites, faithful service, the highest conjugal happiness and heavenly bliss for the ancestors and oneself depend on one’s wife alone’.

Manu मनु declares that the perfect man is one who constitutes a trinity made up of his wife, himself and their offspring. The wife being a gift from the Gods, she ought to be supported to the end of her life. If Manu points out of seductive nature of women, he is equally unsure of the unbridled passion of men. He advises that wise men must not be in the company of even their own mothers, sisters or daughters in a lonely place, for they may deviate from the right path! Manu regards woman as a precious unit of the family and of society but denies them absolute freedom due to their physical vulnerability. He, however, distinguishes between the noble and virtuous and the degenerate women, and like other smrtikaras सम्रितिकर, criticizes those who are faithless, fickle, sensuous, immodest, quarrelsome and loose. ‘Day and night women must be kept in dependence upon males and if the attached themselves to sensual enjoyments they must be kept under one’s control’. Manu prescribes capital punishment for killers of women, exempts pregnant and old women from paying fines and suggests that as mater of courtesy, they should be given precedence when crossing the road.

He meant thereby that they were not different from each other. The Hindu scriptures lay emphasis on harmony between husband and wife that is so essential for family peace and prosperity. Harmony requires understanding, which can only be among equals. In the Rig Veda रिग वेदा, the couples jointly pray: ‘May all Devas and Apas unite our hearts. May Matarisva, dhata, Destri all bind us close?’

The highest duty of man and wife says Manu, is to be faithful to each other. While the supreme duty of the husband is to safeguard his wife, to care for her needs and necessities, and to keep her happy with gift and presents, the wife is expected to be pious and chaste, sincere and faithful to her partner, gentle, suave, skilled and sweet- tongued.

Although the concept of pati-paramesvara पति परमेश्वर (regarding one’s husband as god) has suffered erosion in the wake of women’s empowerment, respect for the husband continues, as is evident from the observance by Hindu women of such traditional vows as Vata Savitri वर्त सावित्री, Haritalika हरितालिका and Karka Chaturthi कर्क चतुर्थी - all aimed at a long and happy conjugal life.

Nowhere do the accredited Hindu scriptures ordain that women should be abused, disgraced, chastised without reason or divorced in ordinary circumstances. Yet expectations from women as life partners have been many and varied. The best female partner, according to a popular Sanskrit adage, is one who renders advice like a minister, obeys like a maidservant, feeds like a mother, pleases like the nymph Rambha रम्भा, acts as a veritable companion, and has the forbearance of Mother Earth.