Sex and spirituality ( Sambhog se Mokasha tak )

What a predicament – sex and spirituality! This is a tough nut to crack, and I wonder if anybody has really cracked it satisfactorily even after thousands of years. Of course, if we want to be free, it’s not sex itself that is the problems, but our relationship with it. The perennial question is: if we have sincere spiritual aspirations, then what is the best position to take in relationship to one of our most basic instincts? Well –and this is the fun part – it all depends who you ask!

The truth is, for most of us on the spiritual path, esoteric questions such as these, as intriguing as they are, really superfluous…. Why? Because the greatest challenge for most of sexuality at least is just not to make a mess of it, or as they say, create more karma. And if big gurus are apparently confused about the right relationship to sexuality what are we mere mortals supposed to do? Forget about the whole thing? Impossible!

Face it directly and try to come to terms with it? Sounds good, but who has the courage and heroic spirit necessary to really look into the eye of the tiger of sexual desire without the whole world falling apart? You see, so many of us open-minded, free thinking characters really are squares when it comes to this particular mega-life issue. What does that mean? It means that we don’t want to look at the whole question too personally because, for most of us, sex is more important than God. The promise of perfect happiness and deep contentment that the sexual experience represents creates a whole universe of attachment and selfhood that is far too important to us to be questioned.

Many people tend to misinterpret what I am saying whenever I mean about God and sexuality. This is such a loaded for most of us. It is very difficult to see clearly into this area of the human experience, especially when it relates to us. So what I am trying to do is present the facts, the definition of spiritual freedom is freedom from attachment.

Sex creates attachment that’s all there is to it. And this is why there is almost always an inherent conflict between the longing for inner freedom and the karmic consequences of the sexual / romantic experience. Therefore, the big question is: if enlightened freedom from attachment, then what are we all going to do about the relentless nature of sexual attraction?

I believe that if we want to be free, we can’t naively assume that there is a simple, ready-made answer to such a complex question. And if we are Sincere, we have to be willing to bear the burden of that complexity on our own shoulders and figure it out for ourselves.

In the end, if you want to be free, then all you need to know is that free means free from attachment. This simple fact transcends the relative matter of whether you are engaging in a sexual relationship or not. If you face this spiritual truth unflinchingly, then you will be looking into the heart of the matter. And this takes a lot more courage than blindly accepting someone else’s conclusion.

Sansaar se Bhaage firtey ho Bhagwan ko tum kya paogey

When you renounce the endless self-centred concerns of the separate ego and its small personal perspective then, spontaneously, you will find yourself there. This is where you will discover an absolute love, a bliss that is empty of attachment and free from the conviction that anything fundamental is missing. And it is this context that alone, which is one of inherent fullness and completing, that can make it possible for human beings to come together in personal intimacy and sexual communion in a way that is free from the pain, complexity, and unending confusion that are usually such an inherent part of this area of life.

Very few of us can really relate sex to the world of spiritual emancipation. This is because of our conditioning from the time we understand sex- that sexuality is something that needs to be hidden or something that needs to be frowned upon. Rarely do we come across anybody who knows or accepts that sex is neutral, that this can be so much a part of our spiritual experience. It is seemingly an incongruous combination. But the truth is that scared sex exists. And no, this is not a new fanged idea but it is something as old as our religion itself.

With so much focus on celibacy as the only way to enjoy spirituality people often ignore that intense sexual instinct provides a spiritual experience. In fact there are proponents of the belief that you do not necessarily have to lead a celibate life to be one with the supreme God. They say that high spiritual consciousness can actually free one from enjoying the power of sex, both physically and mentally.

The deeper you can love yourself in the true sense of the word, the deeper you can love God. Since you are God’s creation when you experience a great orgasm, you are rejoicing in the joy of connecting with the divine. So if you take sex out of its temporal context than you will see that a spiritual experience can grow out of this humblest of biological acts. However to experience that ultimate bliss where you are one with the divine, where you feel a cosmic energy rushing through you, needs practice and open mind and a willingness to surrender oneself completely without shame or guilt to your chosen partner. For in the true union of the two partners in scared sex lies the release of that cosmic energy.

It is surprising that in India, the place of origin for Kama Sutra and Tantra, sex is something that is frowned upon or even feared. Most of us treat our sexuality as something that should be talked about in hushed tones.

This unnatural fear may have risen from the fact that we often do not understand the awesome force of sexuality. It is true that intense desire actually blurs the mind or even creates confusion and a feeling of insecurity. The reason behind this sense of insecurity is the truth that intense desire also means letting of the ego- to be completely selfless, to seek other’s pleasure before achieving one’s climax and to seek total oneness with the significant other. But to be completely abandoned without a thought to another thing is something that is not easily possible for most people. Our desire to escape from its overwhelming intensity alone is what creates an antithetic view of sex where none actually exists.

So we tend to view sex either in a positive light or in a negative light. But the truth is that the sexual force that is inside us is neutral and is multidimensional at the same time. It is intense, natural and healthy, and represents the power of creation itself. It is in truth the creative energy that is in it a divine and a spiritual force. For if this energy did not exist within us then we would not be able to replicate God’s own act of creation, the mainstay of our existence on this planet.

Our ancients have said that (Spiritual) it is this same cosmic energy that is present in living beings as the sex force. So Hindu regarded this energy as sacred, something that is worthy of being worshipped, not fettered away. We also need to embrace the multidimensional nature of our sexual feelings. The human experience of the sexual instinct is never static, but it is ever changing. So it is physical, psychological, emotional and even spiritual.

(That is opening of the third eye of Lord Shiva- Name given to the process, whereby the full potential of man’s Biophysical, mental, emotional energy released, integrated and focused. )

Sexuality is an extremely powerful, primal and irreducible aspect of human nature. One of the contributions of the Tantric paradigm was the insight that sexual energies were being wasted in some forms of meditative practice. There is a Tantric teaching to the effect that without the practice of sexual union and without integrating one’s energies at that level, it is impossible to attain enlightenment in the present life-time.

This takes us to the fact that sex and spirituality are not two different paths but that one is the path to attain the other. Old Tantric practices of sacred sex or mystic sex showed that often the orgasmic bliss was sought by the practicenor to get a vision of the divinity. In today’s world the first concept still holds true, there is also the evolution of the concept where proponents of Tantra and scared sex are using the age-old system to strengthen man-woman relationships and their equation with each other.